Even those who are highly extroverted, come from large families, and had several siblings may struggle to get along with college roommates. Lack of restraint imposed by absence of authority figures, and the more permissive moral environment on many campuses often invites college students to misbehavior. It is therefore unsurprising that those with college ambitions that lie outside partying may run afoul of more hedonistic roommates. We at Unemployed Professors recommend you follow the tips below to ensure a positive, supportive, and serene relationship with roommates:
Set Expectations
Addressing problems as they arise will be essential to serenity in your dorm or other shared space. If you’re not a morning person and your roommate is fond of chattering at you the moment you wake, it’s important to enforce a post-sleep period of silence. Establishing boundaries around problem behaviors when the issue is little is critical to preventing major conflict down-the-line.
Respect Each Other’s Things
In the desire to be accepted and develop an atmosphere of amiability, roommates are likely to be highly permissive in allowing borrowing. This can quickly lead to an entitled attitude, and things will end up missing without permission being granted. It is critical to therefore establish permission as a necessary precursor to borrowing. Additionally, it will be worthwhile in certain areas, such as the bathroom and cooking area, to label shelves with your names, and sort possessions and items accordingly. This will prevent resentments from building up regarding misuse and mistreatment of personal items.
Remain Open-Minded and Willing to Change
Remember that you are still very young and inexperienced. If you’ve lived in a small, sheltered community and had a close clique of friends, it’s unlikely you know much of the world, and the diversity of customs, beliefs, and worldviews it offers. Your new roommate may be from a place you’ve never heard of; and they may have a different religion and contrary values to your own. Rather than negate all this as weird, foreign, and wrong, be open. You presumably went to college to expose yourself to such diversity, and to enjoy the enrichment it offers.
Don’t Expect to Be Best Friends
Try to forge a working, collaborative relationship. Do not expect a strong and lasting friendship. The concern is to have a good roommate: a person you can cohabitate with effectively, and who respects and facilitates your academic success. If you do manage to forge a lasting friendship, that is a bonus!
Be Conscious of the Environment
Three things come to mind here: sounds, smells, and cleanliness. Your roommate may be a ‘loud talker,’ and you may be a snorer. It’s important to discuss one’s preferences for sound, and investigate ways to mitigate the annoyance they produce. Additionally, funky smells can be the death knell of a promising roommate relationship. Establish rules for food storage, cooking, eating, cleanup, and trash removal. Also, roommates should compromise on preferred levels of cleanliness, and work together to achieve an environment that is clean enough to be tolerable to all.