Who are we? Why we’re doing this?

We get our fair share of hate mail here at Unemployed Professors. These e-mails run the gamut from “you are a bunch of immoral jackasses for running a custom essay service,” to “how the hell are these kids going to learn if you’re writing their essays for them.” Despite these, the Unemployed Professors remain undeterred.

For one, a ton of very talented and intelligent students, often in the sciences, need a custom essay for the simple reason that they’re not freaking English majors. Why on Earth does a future engineer, who is going to build bridges in a few years, need to write an analysis of symbolism in James Joyce’s “Ulysses?” That’s why the Unemployed Professors are here – to provide a service so as to allow otherwise smart students to keep their GPA up when dealing with assignments that are beyond their interests.

From another point of view, some students come to the Unemployed Professors for a custom essay because they’re just too damn busy to write it themselves. Students with full time jobs, students who have family commitments, students who have to deal with myriad other issues sometimes just need a professional writer to get their work done, so as to save their GPA, when other things get in the way. The Unemployed Professors are on call twenty-four hours a day and happy to meet any and all custom essay needs.

The third type of student that we see here at Unemployed Professors is the foreign student who simply needs a professional editing job so as to ensure that his or her brilliant thoughts can be accurately conveyed in an academic sense. It’s not easy to write an academic essay in a language other than your native tongue. That’s why the Unemployed Professors are proud to provide a professional editing service, at a much lower cost than that which is associated with a custom essay, to brilliant students who just need a tad bit of polish on their otherwise excellent work.

Finally, the Unemployed Professors are also kept in business by those who see college as being far more than an academic experience. Our motto is “So That You Can Play While We Make Your Papers Go Away” for a very good reason. College is supposed to be fun. If it’s your thing, you’re supposed to get drunk, smoke some reefer, and get laid to your heart’s desire. The Unemployed Professors are happy and proud to improve the college experience of these party hardy students by writing custom essays, providing professional editing services, and completing any other custom academic work that our party fiend clients might need.

In a nutshell, the Unemployed Professors are mercenaries, writing custom essays to increase their incomes, and to provide a valuable service to the types of students listed above. We’re entering a new year and we’re just getting started. To all of those who feel the need to send us hate mail, “Don’t Hate The Player, Hate the Game.”


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