As I mentioned in my previous post, we do get a fair bit of hate mail here at Unemployed Professors. “Custom essay writing is immoral you jackass!” “Students won’t graduate if they pay someone to write their essays!” I’ve heard it all once, and I’ll hear it all again. As an academic who has a relatively good position at a top-flight University, one might ask me why the hell I’m writing custom papers, and how I can possibly rationalize being an academic ghostwriter. Let’s step back to grad school…

When I was in graduate school myself, it became very apparent that most of my new “colleagues” were from wealthier families, and likely never had to pay a penny for educational expenses in their entire lives. Shit, a few days in, one of them told me that he had bought almost all of his essays throughout his undergrad career. I was bemused by this and asked him where the hell he did that? I then found out about this whole custom essay writing business. The dude basically said: “man, you can just pay someone to write your essays.” I honestly couldn’t believe it for two reasons. First, how the hell did someone who had never even written his own work get into grad school ?(he has a PhD and a tenure track position now btw) Second, considering how much student loan debt I had at that time, I wondered how much writing custom essays paid. I quickly found out that being an academic ghostwriter would go a long way in supplementing my meager teaching stipend, and would help pay off my student loans. That’s how I got started in the custom essay business.

That makes sense – grad students are dirt poor and live like monks. Taking a custom essay writing side-gig made a ton of sense back then. But why, with a damn good income, am I still doing this? The fact of the matter is that academia is rigged. I have a great day job, but I certainly can’t say the same for at least half of my grad school friends and colleagues. The PhD market is over-saturated, with schools admitting too many grad students just so that they can have cheap labor to teach classes. So the market really does have too many Unemployed Professors. Beyond this, education has become a commodity; both Universities at which I have taught have had football coaches making a higher salary than their President. Does that sound right? This is supposed to be higher education, right? So while student tuition is going up, the fat cats in the administration buildings and the heroes of the football field are pocketing mad cash.

Education is a commodity. Ergo, a paper is a commodity as well. We live in a capitalist democratic society where you can buy and sell almost anything. Custom essay writing is legal in almost every jurisdiction (we sure as hell don’t operate where it isn’t) and, with this, there’s no obvious reason why a talented professor can’t get in on “da game.” If the market dictates that the client wants the best possible product, shouldn’t a professor be writing custom academic essays? Considering that I know of at least five other professors who supplement their incomes as academic ghostwriters (two of them tenured), and that according to counsel, this does not violate our employment contracts, it seems that this perception exists in academia itself. My thoughts? Any professor condemning this is either in denial about how far the commoditization of education has gone or a true old school idealist who will soon be replaced by a younger and rabid Unemployed Professor.

Is this all one big cop-out? Does the fact that I write custom essays make me a horrendous person, and an even worse academic/professor? Sure, if that’s what your moral code says! But it’s no more of a cop-out than that which is put forth by the critic who claims that (s)he got through school without ever doing anything like this. Those of us who write custom essays, who call ourselves academic ghostwriters, we do this because there’s a demand for it – and one hell of it at that. What does this reflect? Reality. So, again, “don’t hate da player; hate da game.”

We get our fair share of hate mail here at Unemployed Professors. These e-mails run the gamut from “you are a bunch of immoral jackasses for running a custom essay service,” to “how the hell are these kids going to learn if you’re writing their essays for them.” Despite these, the Unemployed Professors remain undeterred.

For one, a ton of very talented and intelligent students, often in the sciences, need a custom essay for the simple reason that they’re not freaking English majors. Why on Earth does a future engineer, who is going to build bridges in a few years, need to write an analysis of symbolism in James Joyce’s “Ulysses?” That’s why the Unemployed Professors are here – to provide a service so as to allow otherwise smart students to keep their GPA up when dealing with assignments that are beyond their interests.

From another point of view, some students come to the Unemployed Professors for a custom essay because they’re just too damn busy to write it themselves. Students with full time jobs, students who have family commitments, students who have to deal with myriad other issues sometimes just need a professional writer to get their work done, so as to save their GPA, when other things get in the way. The Unemployed Professors are on call twenty-four hours a day and happy to meet any and all custom essay needs.

The third type of student that we see here at Unemployed Professors is the foreign student who simply needs a professional editing job so as to ensure that his or her brilliant thoughts can be accurately conveyed in an academic sense. It’s not easy to write an academic essay in a language other than your native tongue. That’s why the Unemployed Professors are proud to provide a professional editing service, at a much lower cost than that which is associated with a custom essay, to brilliant students who just need a tad bit of polish on their otherwise excellent work.

Finally, the Unemployed Professors are also kept in business by those who see college as being far more than an academic experience. Our motto is “So That You Can Play While We Make Your Papers Go Away” for a very good reason. College is supposed to be fun. If it’s your thing, you’re supposed to get drunk, smoke some reefer, and get laid to your heart’s desire. The Unemployed Professors are happy and proud to improve the college experience of these party hardy students by writing custom essays, providing professional editing services, and completing any other custom academic work that our party fiend clients might need.

In a nutshell, the Unemployed Professors are mercenaries, writing custom essays to increase their incomes, and to provide a valuable service to the types of students listed above. We’re entering a new year and we’re just getting started. To all of those who feel the need to send us hate mail, “Don’t Hate The Player, Hate the Game.”

Students of the world,

It’s a New Year; the Mayans were wrong on 2012 and we’re still partying hardy; Kim Jong-Il is dead and an equally creepy dude is running the PRK; and Unemployed Professors is gearing up for the long haul of college during Winter. With this, we not only anticipate but empathize with your continued need for our brilliant eggheads’ work. We’re happy to announce that Unemployed Professors now has a stable of over thirty active professors whose specialties run the gamut from Anthropology to Zoology. Okay, we don’t really have a Zoologist but we do have a Professor with a PhD in Women’s Studies – so let’s just call it A to W.

What’s the upside of this for you? More professors working for us means more professors bidding on your projects. This means that you will be able to get even better deals on your papers and other tedious assignments in this New Year. Put another way, our guns are still for hire and we’re more than happy to be your academic mercenaries as you alternate between papering and partying. We’ve also come to an agreement with our professors whereby any project posted during the month of January, that has at least a seven day completion timeframe, will receive a 10% discount on the bid that you choose. Ergo, submit your papers early and you’ll save some scratch. That’s beer money in your pocket.

So, we hope to see you soon and we’re wishing you a Happy New Year from the entire Unemployed Professors Team.

The end of the holiday break means the start of a new semester, which means that those term papers, essays, midterms and other bits of academic nonsense are going to start piling up faster than you know it.

I’ve been at the university scene before and I know what it’s like: sometimes trying to balance school with work with play can be one heck of a hassle. Wouldn’t it be nice if those papers could just disappear and you wouldn’t have to worry about bailing on your best friend’s party?

Well, it can be that nice. Here at UnemployedProfessors.com we can make those papers go away.

The concept behind unemployed professors is simple: I’m sure you’ve met, or at least heard of, more than a few academics who made it through the system and earned themselves a master’s degree in such and such or a PhD in so and so and haven’t been able to find work. Well, rather than letting those degrees rot on the shelves, we’ve decided to gather up as many of these local academics as we could find and get them to start using their degrees.

Of course, I’m sure you’ve heard it all before, what with the dozens of other websites out there offering similar services. The difference though, is that we really are who we say we are. The problem with a lot of sites is that they outsource their work to India, or other parts of the world where getting a degree isn’t quite as stringent as it is here. They talk big, and sound professional, but when it comes down to getting the work done, you suddenly realize that you’ve produced better papers back in high school than those clowns do.

Here at Unemployed Professors, we are unabashedly local, based here in Montreal. This means that every project we take on is being written and researched by people that graduated from the same colleges and universities that you’re currently attending and probably even took some of the same classes with the same teachers. They know that the workload is tough and time consuming, they know about deadlines and proper citations and this means that they also know all the ins and outs of the system.

Getting started is simple. Sign up and register an account with us, then post a project of yours along with the due date and other details. Our professors will look it over, find out who has the know-how to complete it, and start replying to you. Because we believe in democracy here in Canada, we’ve set things up so that multiple professors who have the right expertise under their belt can bid on the same project. That means the next time you sign in to view your project status, you might have four of five different professors offering different approaches and different prices for the work. A little competition can be a good thing, this way you can tailor your paper the way you want and pick the right professor for the job.

Also, another thing that separates us from those other sites is that we don’t consider title pages, footnotes, proper formatting and a bibliography as “extras”. If your university considers those standard features, then so do we. It’s that simple: we’re not here to jerk you around or try to cut back on our workload. We want to write you the papers you need to succeed so that you’ll keep coming back. No bullshit and no academic jargon; just genuine work.

So what are you waiting for? Those papers won’t write themselves until you sign up with the Unemployed Professors

UnemployedProfessors.com Provides Custom Academic Ghostwriting Solutions

Unemployed Professors is pleased to announce the beginning of its North American operations. UnemployedProfessors.com serves as a secure and reliable platform whereby students in need of aid to in completing their academic assignments, at any level, can outsource their coursework to a freelance professional writer. Currently holding a stable of more than fifteen freelance writers, all with graduate degrees, and many with post-secondary teaching experience in their field of expertise, UnemployedProfessors.com is currently leading an industry wide paradigm shift in the academic ghostwriting industry.

Anyone desiring to commission one of the authors’ services can log on to the site, post a description of their project, and within hours receive bids from multiple interested, willing, and able freelance authors. Because all of the firm’s writers are screened on the basis of their educational achievements, its writers are capable of handling any and all academic assignments ranging from the simple and basic freshman essay, to complex statistical homework, all the way to dissertation chapters. With this then, UnemployedProfessors.com offers a customized, safe, reliable, and plagiarism-free service for those willing to pay to have their coursework completed. Simply put, UnemployedProfessors.com serves to let you play, while they make your papers go away.