Category: Cool Beans!!

  • Plagiarism Checking: Does it really work?

    Plagiarism Checking: Does it really work?

    Plagiarism checking has become an unfortunate extra step in the drudgery of the essay writing process. Thanks to the arms race between students and teachers, the general dynamic is that all students are presumed guilty of plagiarism until proven innocent by a for-profit algorithm. With that lovely thought in mind, let’s explore the fascinating world…

  • AI Essay Writing: The Risks of Using An Essay Bot

    AI Essay Writing: The Risks of Using An Essay Bot

    Unless you’ve been living under a rock or in a coma, you’ve probably heard about the explosion of new AI programs that help with writing. The development of a technology called GPT-3, which basically an operating system for artificial intelligence text, has kickstarted a burgeoning industry in AI essay writing. TikTok and YouTube have exploded…

  • Is Unemployed Professors Legit?

    Is Unemployed Professors Legit?

    People ask this all the time (even though they should be asking “Are Unemployed Professors legit?”). And we get it. If we’re so brilliant, how are we still unemployed? (Our moms want to know this, too). Why should you trust sarcastic strangers on the Internet whose entire brand revolves around unemployment and tweed? With so much…

  • Common App Essay Prompts 2022-2023 (Part 3)

    Common App Essay Prompts 2022-2023 (Part 3)

    Welcome to Part 3 of our blog series on how to write the Common App essay for 2022-2023! In Part 1 of this series, we introduced the Common App essay prompts for the 2022-2023 school year and compared them to the prompts from last year, and went over the first essay option. In part 2,…

  • Essays about your dysfunctional family

    We are incorrigible know-it-alls, so we recently launched a Quora. Now, whenever we have downtime from slavishly polishing the world’s best essays, we’re answering some of Quora users’ toughest questions with our trademark combination of reliable information and sarcastic style. Recently, a Quora user asked, “How do you write a college essay about your family?”…

  • The “perfect” personal statement

    We are incorrigible know-it-alls, so we recently launched a Quora. Now, whenever we have downtime from slavishly polishing the world’s best essays, we’re answering some of Quora users’ toughest questions with our trademark combination of reliable information and sarcastic style. Recently, a Quora user asked, “How do I write a perfect personal statement as an…

  • Some Thoughts on COVID Vaccines and Aspiration

    Some Thoughts on COVID Vaccines and Aspiration

    By Professor Rogue I believe that COVID MRNA vaccines are safe and effective in terms of preventing severe COVID. Here at Unemployed Professors, opinions differ amongst professors, and we have all written many custom essays about COVID and its implications on the economy. I have written so many custom essays about COVID-19 that I have…

  • Unemployed Professors Adds Crypto Payment Option for Customers

    Unemployed Professors Adds Crypto Payment Option for Customers

    Unemployed Professors, one of the most trusted names in academic writing, has always put you first. It’s why we have the best professors, the best customer service, and the best sense of humor. Today, we’re proud to announce that we’ve launched a new payment option: Crypto. That’s right – you can now deposit crypto to…

  • Happy Procrastinator’s Day!!

    Happy Procrastinator’s Day!!

    We’re sorry we forgot Valentine’s Day, and President’s Day, and even Mardi Gras. But we’ve got something even better for you than a cheesy valentine, stale candy hearts that taste like toothpaste, bad Abe Lincoln hat, or plastic beads to wear in lieu of a shirt.   We know you’ve been waiting to get around…

  • Dorm-et Cooking Part Two: Basic Rules

    Dorm-et Cooking Part Two: Basic Rules

      One of the best things about a rice cooker is that you can throw stuff in and walk away. This is perfect for students. But how do you decide what to cook, and why would you want to when there are microwave burritos to be consumed? If you only have a tiny fridge and…

  • “Dorm-et” Cooking: The Basics

    “Dorm-et” Cooking: The Basics

          Whether you’re living at home or hunkered down in a decidedly un-fun dorm, nobody likes spending a lot of money on groceries or eating cafeteria food. And let’s face it, Hot Pockets and microwave burritos are fart and sodium bombs. But between COVID impacting university life and even how you get groceries…

  • How Students Can Vote in the 2020 Election

    How Students Can Vote in the 2020 Election

      Are you American? Do you have strong opinions about where the country is or should be going? Do you enjoy standing in line and getting stickers while watching the world burn? Are you a student confused about how to register, especially during this fabulous plague year? Then you probably want to know how you…

  • Tips for maximizing online learning during COVID-19

    Tips for maximizing online learning during COVID-19

    Deleuzienne here with some tips for trying to get the most out of a disappointing term! So you’re paying tuition for a term of Zoom and quarantine. Bad luck. If it’s any comfort, your professors really would have preferred to meet in person with you, too! I’ve tried to come up with some useful and…

  • Hey, welcome to our summer solstice newsletter!*

    Hey, welcome to our summer solstice newsletter!*

    Can you believe it’s already the summer solstice? Considering that 2020 may be the longest year in human history, seems like a good time to reflect on the tsunami of current events the first half of 2020 has barfed onto us. Looking back over this year, it seems like it was only a few short…

  • Letter from Unemployed Professors on Covid19

    Letter from Unemployed Professors on Covid19

    These are tough times. The whole world is shuttered, Amazon is out of everything, many people have lost their jobs and your local grocery store has turned into Mad Max cosplay. Do you battle to the death for the last package of toilet paper or do you cough on the person next to you to…

  • The Fate of Universities

    The Fate of Universities

      University education used to be much more idealistic in nature, and derived from a perceived need to enlighten and ennoble, rather than merely professionalize.  Today, university education is viewed much differently.  It might not be unfair, in fact, to suggest that universities today are merely glorified vocational colleges.  Gone is the ‘Ivory Tower,’ replaced…

  • How to Get Along with College Roommates

    How to Get Along with College Roommates

    Even those who are highly extroverted, come from large families, and had several siblings may struggle to get along with college roommates.  Lack of restraint imposed by absence of authority figures, and the more permissive moral environment on many campuses often invites college students to misbehavior.  It is therefore unsurprising that those with college ambitions…

  • College Dating Tips

    College Dating Tips

      College is a pivotal, coming-of-age experience in which students experience previously unenjoyed freedoms.  For some, the parental guidance they have received, and their personal level of maturity allow for responsible enjoyment of newfound liberty.  Most, however, are unprepared.  When exploring new romantic and sexual freedoms, this can result in unwanted and even destructive results.…

  • Formulating a Strong Thesis Statement

    Formulating a Strong Thesis Statement

    The thesis statement is essentially a distillation of the entire essay: it is the controlling argument of the paper, and must therefore be intriguing, and at least a little contentious.  Coming up with a compelling thesis statement is one of the most important aspects of writing a good university essay.  Here are some questions formulated…

  • How to Write a Research Paper

    How to Write a Research Paper

    It’s normal to feel a sense of dread about a looming research paper.  Academics at all levels experience anxiety prior to writing a research paper – even the PhD’s who write for Unemployed Professors! Breaking up the process of research and writing into easy-to-follow steps is an excellent way to dispel fears of research papers. …

  • New Year’s Resolutions for University Students

    New Year’s Resolutions for University Students

    Entering a new year and decade, we encounter the longstanding tradition of New Year’s resolutions.   As students, we can look at this as an opportunity to recalibrate our expectations, setting them down in the form of concrete, attainable goals.  If our grades have been lagging, we can take this as an invitation to improve; and…

  • Writing Custom Essays in the Age of Trump

    Writing Custom Essays in the Age of Trump

    What does Donald Trump have to do with the custom essays that we write here at Unemployed Professors? A lot more than you would think. Whether you agree or disagree with Trump’s politics, he is affecting the global economy, global society, and politics. Most of the custom essays I write at Unemployed Professors are about…

  • How a Professional Ghostwriter Sources a Custom Essay

    How a Professional Ghostwriter Sources a Custom Essay

    Today I’m going to talk to you about how a professional ghostwrite will typically source a custom essay here at Unemployed Professors. While there are many schools of thought on how sources should be used in scholarly papers, a good approach to writing an essay is to allow your sources to structure your essay. As…

  • How to Learn from Your Unemployed Professors Custom Essay

    How to Learn from Your Unemployed Professors Custom Essay

    The custom essay writing team at Unemployed Professors is focusing on your learning, and academic growth. When hiring one of our qualified professors to write your custom essay, we encourage you to learn from the work of one of our professionals. These are a few tips that you can use so as to get the…