The top 5 worst term paper assignment types

Veteran writers for term paper writing services have seen all kinds of shit. Believe it or not, some of the reasons students try to outsource their work or beat TurnItIn have to do not with their own ethics, but because of the terrible assignments. Some professors leave students with no choice but to try and find a writing service to help them out.

Here are the top 5 worst term paper assignment types. Which do you remember from school? Which are you trying to get out of right now? Remember that if any of these are plaguing you, the experts at Unemployed Professors have got your back.


(SOURCE: Boyz in the Hood, 1991)

The “Drive-by Citing.”
We all know this one. Some professor thinks someone can address a complex topic….in 6 pages…with a requirement of 15 mandatory sources. Oh, you think this is crazy? I’ve written over 1,000 papers for Unemployed Professors. The shit I’ve seen has included requirements like these, with added bullshit bonus stuff like 1/3 of the sources must be tonal poems or something. The main purpose of these papers seems to be to get students to cite sources for no reason other than to cite source, because it is impossible to treat a complex, broad topic in a short span of pages while paying obeisance to dozens of secondary sources.


The “Haiku.”
I also call this the “Tweet.” The professor is asking for a 3000-word paper. All the student knows is that it’s supposed to be 3000 words and maybe use MLA formatting, or is it APA? All other instructions have been conveyed in the form of vague gestures, fluffy clouds, and tealeaves.

wall-of text

The opposite of the Haiku. The “Tl;dr.”
The opposite of the Haiku. The “Tl;dr.” Too long, didn’t read. Dear professors: If you’re assigning a 3-page paper, you should probably not include more than 3 pages of instructions. I’ve seen instructions for 3 page papers that topped out at, I kid you not, 10 pages single-spaced. Interesting variations include the condescending or snarky instructions, as well as the ones that blatantly mock students somewhere in the wall of text. Luckily nobody ever reads that far.


The factual scavenger hunt.
This is a highly structured paper that exists solely so students can regurgitate facts in an order proscribed by the professor. There is no argument, no critical thinking. It is simply a recall-based exam in essay form.


The fill-in-the blanks.
You know what I’m talking about. The professor isnt’ just holding your hand. I mean the professor is gripping your arm and basically telling you what to write. Underline and italicize the thesis statement. Use the thesis statement worksheet and make sure your thesis fits into the blank. Then make three, no more no less, arguments and sub arguments with a polite rebuttal. There is absolutely zero room for creativity or critical thought in these papers. They are effectively a long-form worksheet. But professors seem to love them. And why not? In every highly structured sentence, there are dozens of opportunities to ding students who dare to think for themselves.

Remember, even if you are dealing with a paper that doesn’t fit into one of these categories, one of our friendly, tweed-wearing Unemployed Professors is happy to help you tame the paper monster.

Third episode of Season 4 of Girls

girls I hate to engage in spoilers or speculation, but my take on the latest season of Girls is that Hannah is going to drop out of her MFA program in creative writing. For those of you just tuning in, last night was the third episode of Season 4 of Girls. During one emotional scene between Hannah and Elijah, she admits that in college, her best friend / roommate Marnie wrote most of her papers. Now that she’s in grad school, Hannah feels a certain emptiness from the opportunity to spend her time writing what she ostensibly wants to be writing.

But let’s stop right there. Hannah had her best friend write her papers in college! What about integrity?! On the other hand, let’s look at it another way: Hannah focused on what she was good at and found a way to leverage her time so that it worked for her. Hannah isn’t a terrible student or a desperate scumbag (well, depends on your opinion of Girls). She’s one of the whitest people who’s ever lived, true, but she is, comparatively speaking, normal. A lot of people may see themselves in her. And even she outsourced her less useful schoolwork. She did not say what Marnie got out of this arrangement, but we here at Unemployed Professors would postulate that she probably did not charge enough. On the other hand, if Marnie ditches Desi, completes a graduate degree and gets some teaching experience, perhaps she could get a gig at Unemployed Professors. Marnie seems to have a lot of experience beating the infamous TurnItIn and writing custom papers.

Girls’ shift to an academic Iowa setting may not work in the long-term for the show, but it certainly sets the characters in an interesting light vis-à-vis the potential for conversations about academic honesty.

If you need help with an essay or term paper post your project on unemployed professors today!

Comparing the G7 Educational Systems Part-1

UnemployedProfessor(light brown)
The term G7 sounds like a computer chip, but it is actually a nickname for the “Group of 7” countries: The U.S., Japan, France, Germany, Italy, U.K., and Canada. Famous for their higher levels of economic development compared to other nations, these countries also have highly developed educational systems. If you want to work in one of these nations, you would do well to familiarize yourself with their educational systems, since a degree from one of these systems will improve your odds of being able to work in these countries.

                In the United States, schools exist in three main forms: primary, secondary, and post-secondary (or tertiary). Primary generally runs from kindergarten to around grade 8. Then, all students go to secondary, commonly known as high school, which is usually grades 9-12. The states have wide latitude for outlining their requirements, and there is a significant amount of standardized testing, which varies based on the city, state, and national mandates at the time. Due to the No Child Left Behind Act, all states must test children, but there is no major national test required. You have probably heard of the SAT or ACT, but these tests are generally given to assess college readiness – they are not school-leaving requirements. Upon leaving high school, students who want to continue their educations have a wide range of options [[LINK TO BLOG ABOUT IVY vs COMMUNITY COLLEGE}.  Most areas have community colleges, or junior colleges that allow students to take prerequisite courses. All states have public institutions funded in part by the state (though nationwide, state appropriations have been declining rapidly). Two-year degrees are called Associate’s degrees, and four-year degrees are usually called bachelor’s degrees. While these degrees are often completed in 2 or 4 years, many people may take longer due to changing their area of study. The area of study a student chooses is usually called a “major,” and he or she can have the option of supplementing it with a “minor.” The type of degree a school can award is based on its accreditation. Private schools are the same, although the majority offer four-year degrees. These schools, generally far more expensive than public ones, are not generally funded by the state, although they may receive federal student funds for students eligible for financial aid. After the four-year degree, some institutions offer master’s or doctoral degrees. Master’s degrees are usually two to three years, and doctoral degrees vary widely. Education in the United States is highly diverse and politicized, and changing rapidly. Citizens of the United States are largely very dissatisfied with the cost of higher education and the diminishing job opportunities available to college graduates. The situation may change rapidly in the next few years.

                Meanwhile, across the pond in the United Kingdom, the higher education system is fed into by the national education system. Students in the UK achieve further education qualifications like the A-levels, the International Baccalaureate, Scottish Highers, or qualifications from abroad that allow them to enter university. There are two main forms of higher education in the UK: Undergraduate and postgraduate. Undergraduate education includes bachelor’s degrees, which are similar to those of the U.S. except they generally take three, not four years to complete. Degrees also have distinctions such as ordinary or Honours. Undergraduate degrees are classified as follows: First class honours (a “first”), second class honours, upper division (2:1), second class honours, lower division (2:2), third class honours (a “third”), or an ordinary degree (a pass). The higher the class of honours, the greater one’s academic distinction. The honours system is generally used for three-year undergraduate degrees.

Another UK degree is the Foundation degree, which is awarded after the first two years of an Honours degree. However, it includes work-based learning sponsored by an employer. A student’s area of study is known as a course. A DipHE (or Diploma of Higher Education) course is roughly akin to the American Associate’s degree in that it is a two-year, foundational degree (though not a Foundation degree) and can be used to transfer into a four-year course. These, too, are often job-related. Common fields for this degree include nursing and social work. A certificate of Higher Education is equivalent to the first year of an Honours degree, and are considered the most basic post-secondary educational qualification. They can be used to transfer into university-level studies, or for career changes. Finally, a Higher National Diploma (HND) is a two-year course that can, with enough success, lead to a third-year of the degree. These different diplomas comprise the various offerings at the undergraduate level, but the postgraduate level has its own opportunities. For example, there are master’s degree courses, MBA courses, PhD’s / doctorates (only available for those who achieve at least a 2:1 result), and numerous postgraduate diplomas and qualifications. Professional and vocational qualifications are available, as are conversion courses. Although the UK is smaller than the US, there are still numerous educational opportunities in a variety of topics.

If you need help with an essay or term paper post your project on unemployed professors today!

Salary Expectations for Various Degrees

Salary expectations for various degrees


Everyone loves to speculate on the “best” and “worst” majors. Recently, and Yahoo! released a list of the 10 “worst” majors, ranking them on the basis of how many students with these degrees are underemployed. These majors included perennial punching bags, such as English and the liberal arts, as well as more surprising picks, such as economics and business administration. ranked the top “Majors that Pay You Back” which included Petroleum Engineering, Actuarial Mathematics, Nuclear Engineering, Chemical Engineering, Aerospace Engineering, Electrical Engineering, Computer Engineering, Computer Science, Physics, and Mechanical Engineering. At the other end of the scale, the top 10 worst majors for salary potential included Child & Family Studies, Elementary Education, Social Work, Athletic Training, Human Development, Special Education, Biblical Studies, Horticulture, Exercise Science, and Culinary Arts. These lists can be useful, and if you want to make the big bucks, you can think about which flavour of engineering interests you the most! However, it’s important to keep in mind that each of these lists concerns only medians – and’s methodology excludes advanced degrees. Struggling to major in something you hate might prove more difficult than succeeding at something you’re interested in and passionate about. Often, people switch careers many times in this day and age. Your major is not your fate, nor is it your destiny. I’ve known many students who went on to work in very different fields, or who switched fields entirely for grad school and transformed yet again in their professional lives. At the same time, however, you need to be realistic. You are far more likely to land a solid job if you establish yourself as an extraordinary student (Or even as a merely above-average one!) in a “mid-payscale” major than if you are a below-average student in a big-bucks major.

                Ultimately, it’s hard to develop passion for something you only feel “meh” about (if you doubt this, try dating someone you’re not attracted to). And it can be very easy to succeed at something you care about. How can you increase your odds of landing a decent job? No matter what major you choose, be an extraordinary student. Prepare well (LINK TO OTHER BLOG). Ask for help if you need it. Carve out opportunities for yourself: it’s easy to stop being a student when you leave class, but understand that you are laying the groundwork for your future when you’re in school. Spend your spare time reading up on your field and searching for as many opportunities as you can. Network by establishing relationships with your professors (no, not that kind of relationship). Use your school breaks and summers wisely. Not everyone can afford to work for free as an intern, but everybody should spend some time during their breaks tweaking their resume, searching for scholarships and grants, staying informed about the latest developments in their fields, or even just getting ahead on reading. One great way to network and learn more about your field is to attend a professional conference. While conferences are seldom cheap, student rates are often available, and sometimes you can even get in for free if you offer to volunteer. It’s a great resume-builder, a great networking opportunity, and one way to hedge the bet you’re making on your future. At these events, you can see the latest research, hear panels on professional development, and even put in “face time” with the famous authors of your textbooks! I can’t say it enough: Your major’s salary potential is not your fate. Life is full of surprises. However, you can increase your chances of landing a great job by maximizing your success in school – whether you’re majoring in petroleum engineering or culinary arts.


If you need help with an essay or term paper post your project on unemployed professors today!

First Semester: How to Prepare and What to Expect

The beginning of anything can be a scary process. The first semester of school can be overwhelming, since it usually means its’ the first time you live away from home and are paying for your education. The stakes are high. But even if you’re a veteran student, read on for some tips on how to prepare and what to expect. That way, if this is your first semester or your fiftieth (hey, no judging), you’ll make this term the best one yet.

The most important ways to prepare for the first semester are to reduce surprises, be organized, and be proactive. What does this mean? Visit the bookstore as soon as you know what classes you’re taking, and look for the books you’re required to buy. If necessary, email your professors and ask if an older version of the book will suffice – this can save you big bucks! Remember, the earlier you investigate your books, the better your odds of getting a deal on a used copy! Don’t be afraid to email your professor or TA, even if just to introduce yourself. Talk to some returning students and ask about things like shortcuts across campus (valuable if you oversleep!), best places to get used books, and of course, the classes and professors they’d recommend! Remember, it’s the little things that can really wreck your day: showing up late to class, going to the wrong building or classroom, or parking in the wrong place. These minor mishaps can chip away at your motivation and academic success.

The day before classes begin, walk to each of your classrooms. Make sure you know where each is, and get an idea for how long it will take you to “commute” from your dorm or home to class. Scope out parking and make sure you understand campus parking policies if you’re driving – nothing’s worse than coming back to your car after a long day to find a parking ticket! Be sure to clarify if any buildings have similar names (for example, East Hall and West Hall). Look at the classrooms and ask yourself where you think you should sit to be as successful as possible. Do you feel inspired if you can see your professor’s nose hair? Do you concentrate better in the back of a lecture hall? Is there a loud, throbbing heater on the left side of your classroom? Develop a first-day game plan! Also, if you’re a procrastinator, make sure you know where all the university computer labs are, and their printing policies. Many professors – myself included – have zero tolerance for printing or computer mishaps, so you’ll want to be sure your assignments are printed and ready to go. You’ll want a backup plan in case your printer malfunctions or you just forget to buy more paper. Many universities give you a certain number of free pages printed each term anyway, so maybe you can skip buying the ink and get some beer instead.

On the first day of classes, don’t just sit and listen to your professor yammer about the class. Look at the syllabus. Write down due dates for major assignments and exams now – and program them into your phone! You might even want to “trick” yourself by programming in a due date that’s a little earlier to ensure you don’t miss a deadline. Enter in reading assignments, too, and if there’s a day with no reading or assignments, get ahead! It might take a couple hours to enter every due date for every assignment, but not missing deadlines will pay off in the end. Network, too! The first day is a good day to scope out your classmates. Don’t just look for the most attractive person. Consider who might be a useful contact if you miss class or have to do a group project. The geek in the back might really be helpful.

During the first week, or as soon as you can, meet with your advisor. Each school advises its students differently, but no matter what, make sure that you understand what credits you will earn this term and where you’re at in terms of graduation timelines. Ask what requirements you are fulfilling and which remain. Have your advisor run through a variety of scenarios with you so you know what your options are and you know what the consequences of your choices are. Be proactive! After all, this isn’t just school. It is your future. By making sure you are organized and proactive, reducing the possibility of surprises, and asking for help when you need it, you can be prepared for success this semester – and every other term.

If you need help with an essay or term paper post your project on unemployed professors today!

How to Buy a Term Paper


• What to look for in an author
• What should you expect to pay
• Could I get caught
• Does the site assure your privacy
• What degree of quality should I expect

Not many people talk about how to buy a term paper. The process itself may seem cloaked in mystery – something totally transgressive. After all, you can’t exactly ask your teachers or professors – or sometimes even your friends – how to go about buying a paper. But today, I am going to shed light on this mystery and talk about the process.
On our site, the process of buying a paper begins with bidding. You post a project, and we desperate, shivering, starving, borderline autistic professors place a bid. How to pick the best professor? Obviously I think you should pick me, but if we’re going to be objective, you should pay attention to how the bidders communicate with you during the bidding process.

Do they attach notes to their bids, such as qualifications, questions, or ideas? Do they follow up on their bid and offer more information or questions? Do they respond in a timely manner if you have questions? Don’t be afraid to ask potential writers what direction they will go in with the piece, and don’t be afraid to ask them if they’ve done similar work. For obvious reasons, we’re not going to send you our resumes, and we can’t always send prior work (privacy concerns), but your ideal writer would offer experience. On our site, the writers have profiles that outline their areas of expertise, as well as feedback from prior clients.

Then your next step is to pick the winner. Of course, on all sites, you can evaluate prices (or bids if the site uses a bidding system). Obviously, many people want to pay the least amount possible. This makes a lot of sense – you’re already paying through the nose for college; why pay more? However, in many ways in life, you get what you pay for. After all, if your writer is worth his salt, he’s an expert with a degree and a ton of experience. He’s able to get sources you need. And if he is really a professor, he is sort of putting his ass on the line for you due to the unethical nature of his using his education to earn money at a fair wage.

Therefore, a minimum of $20-$25 a page is average. If other people charge less, you should proceed with caution: no offense to our fine friends around the globe, but very low prices can be a red flag that the writer lives in a country with a very low cost of living and may not have reliable Internet access, English skills, or experience. Especially if your paper is due in fewer than 24 hours, you should expect to pay a premium.

Unfortunately, few paper writing services actually offer time machine services at this time, so the best we can do if something is due yesterday is to motivate staff with decent pay. For urgent jobs, you can expect as much as $50 a page. Here’s the life lesson for this paragraph: Planning ahead will save you money!

Of course, we also understand buying a paper is a nerve-wracking process. Sometimes clients anxiously ask, “Could I get caught if I buy a term paper?” Nothing in life is without risk, but a 100% original, custom-written term paper is going to pass Some customers provide writing samples to their writer so he or she can try to sound like you. Others take a day or so and edit the paper so they feel comfortable putting their name on it. Still others bring it to their course director, TA, etc., for comments and revisions.

I can’t speak for our competitors, but the large number of repeat clients on UnemployedProfessors would seem to serve as useful data that nobody is getting “caught.” After all, technically speaking, you are only purchasing a sample paper. In that vein, the site protects your privacy as well as the writer’s. The logins are secure, payment methods are encrypted, and frankly, the less we know about you, the better. To get some extra peace of mind, you might want to omit your name or identifying information from anything you upload (e.g., a syllabus or emails from your professor). We can’t speak for our competitors, but most of the time, writers on our site never even learn your name (unless you use your real name as a username…which…okay, if you want to, that’s cool).

Now for the question you really want answered. What degree of quality should I expect from a paper I buy? The answer for our clients tends to be “The highest, duh!” Some clients want something that’s “good, but not too good.” In any case, communication is key. Don’t be afraid to communicate with your writer, and even after the project is uploaded, most writers are willing to do a round or two of revisions. Also, keep in mind that the finished product will be largely affected by the information you give your writer. If your professor specifically said not to make a certain argument or to definitely use a particular source, tell your writer.

Hopefully this overview has helped you get a better idea of what to expect when you decide to buy a term paper.

So go ahead and post your essay today!

Rebuttal : “Don’t feel like writing that essay? Pay an unemployed Professor to do it for you”

Unemployed Professors Student Writing ServicesIt’s tough being an Unemployed Professor. First, you’re a professor, so you automatically have bad hair, worse clothes, terrible taste in music, a family to support, and, most likely, an impressive pile of student loans to pay off. Second, you’re unemployed, so your ivory tower is basically a tattered cardboard box under a campus bridge. And third, you get a lot of hate when you decide to take the corporate approach to the university to its logical conclusion because you need to pay your bills. Well, haters gonna hate. Last year’s article by Nadine Kalinauskas is one such example of the animosity heaped onto us Unemployed Professors.

The article describes the effect of this site by claiming it diminishes the value of a university degree, asserting that our plucky little start-up is singlehandedly diminishing the incredible, life-changing value of a four-year degree. This prospect is laughable, considering we are applying our devalued postgraduate university degrees to do one of the few things we are really, really good at (e.g., writing and researching). The university system has already failed us professors. Truly, the world seems shocked by the power of the pen (or keyboard, or stylus, or whatever the kids are paying us to use these days).

But for the moment, let’s ignore the plight of the professoriate; today, let’s look at the students. Other writers have described the types of students who have used similar services. Let’s think about this. Is the North American university pocketing tens of thousands of dollars for the foreign student with no English skills not devaluing its own degrees? What about the university whose students are forced to complete meaningless busywork to fulfill breadth requirements? What about the university supporting “students” on sports teams who are shuffled into what I will politely call lightweight majors, who have an army of personal tutors and other attendants essentially or literally doing their work for them? Is the university truly helping the token first generation admits, who have no idea how to function in a college or university setting and are left to drift, alone?

Thanks for the credit, Nadine, but we are simply humble Unemployed Professors, not wizards. If we could value and devalue things with our magisterial essay writing skills, we would be applying those skills to the stock market, not universities.

As an Official Unemployed Professor, I’ve seen it all. I’ve seen the tears and sweat pouring off late-night messages from students whose professors won’t answer their questions or meet with them. I’ve squinted in befuddlement at unnecessarily complicated, poorly written instructions for assignments and term papers that required things like 10 secondary sources in a 3 page paper that also meaningfully discusses two novels. I’ve tried to make sense of feedback on papers that consisted entirely of check marks and inscrutable squiggles. I’ve helped students write emails to deans so they could contest grades and complain about professors who never came to office hours.  I have been asked to read, critique and edit a student’s term paper before submission; these students take their work seriously and in the process, they learn to be better writers. It is wrong to surmise that I create papers and that the student simply delivers the final work; the process is usually extremely beneficial to the student. If used as intended, Unemployed Professors offers students the chance of having a mentor that actually shows up and truly cares!

The problem is not entirely with us. The problem is not entirely with the students who request our services (and, for the record, these students also agree to abide by our terms and conditions). The problem is not even entirely with the Gainfully Employed Professors. If anything, we Unemployed Professors should be celebrated for our ingenuity, entrepreneurial spirit, and ability to monetize our skills. If we are going to live in a society that values profit and only profit, then we need to acknowledge and prize all institutions that turn a profit. That includes both universities and service industries that are ancillary to the university, like late-night pizza delivery, laundry services, used textbook exchanges, outline banks, or Unemployed Professors.

Demonizing the Unemployed Professors is not the solution. Removing the profit motive from education is. Since that will never happen, we remain in an incredibly competitive educational and professional context – and our site prides itself on helping students remain on the playing field of a highly corrupt system. By providing model, sample assignments, we help students obtain the credential they need to compete in today’s world– just like test prep classes, just like tutors, just like study aids.

If you’re a student, consider how we might help you (we offer a wide variety of student writing services that goes beyond providing model assignments). If you’re an administrator of a university, consider what you’re doing to ensure that we exist. And if you’re someone looking to point fingers, look at the larger context we all live in.

Deleuzienne’s tips for college term paper writing

A while back, my colleague Professor Rogue noted, astutely, that you can’t really beat – it’s like death and taxes. Like death and taxes, term paper season has come upon us once again, leaving many a student to ask, “How can I beat TurnItIn? How can I write an awesome, A+ paper? How can I get an A on this paper?”

Since I taught college for so many years, I wanted to use this blog post to offer my best tips for paper writing. When I teach, if my students do these things, they generally get an A: this is basically how to get an A paper in Deleuzienne’s class.


  1. Sources. Half the battle is having good backup troops, right? You need good sources. Your professor probably has a tattoo on his ugly mug saying “NO WIKIPEDIA,” but beyond that, don’t use content farms like eHow, HowStuffWorks, etc. If the site pays anyone to write “content” – with one notable exception – it’s not a good source. Sometimes the only way to do it is to man up and delve into the library, that moldy, dusty building where the nerds hang out (and occasionally, where they film the porn). Sometimes you just need to log on. Those databases cost a fortune and that’s where about .001% of your tuition goes to, so make friends with them. EBSCOhost, JSTOR, PsychOnline, whatever. If it’s not published in a peer-review journal, don’t bother. The good news: You can often get the gist of an article from the “abstract,” a brief summary that appears at the beginning of the article. Sometimes that’s all you really need to read!
  2. Citations. Sometimes, the most important part of an assignment isn’t what you have to say or how you say it: it’s your adherence to whatever obscure style reminds your professor of his glory days in the Ivy League. Lots of professors might only care about how well you cite sources and whether you get the commas and periods and dashes and italics right in the works cited. However, do not despair. There are numerous options for creating perfect citations. One is to ask for some help. Another is to use an auto citation generator, like  Finally, some word processors even have citation management tools.
  3.  A strong thesis. In general, what you argue is less important than how you argue it, but to get an A paper, your professor should know exactly what you argue in the paper. Some students seem afraid to argue anything they think the professor will disagree with. While we all love to have our egos stroked this way – it is why we became professors – it doesn’t really matter.
  4. Good structure. This sounds like a no-brainer, but the students who get A’s in my classes don’t reinvent the wheel. Intro, main points, conclusion and out. No meandering, no digressions, no FDA-approved textual filler.
  5. Good use of sources. This might be the hardest. You need to use your troops strategically, right? So deploy them in a strategic way. Have front line sources, backup sources, mechanical robot with machine gun sources that take out your opponent. Massage them in with a rhetorical flourish that would make Derrida giggle. And all professors can spot gratuitous quotes from a mile away, so don’t do that.
  6. Good writing. This is easier said than done (or written, I suppose), and I know that it’s difficult for many people – it’s why you might want to get help. Often, universities will have a writing center where the nice employees will read over your paper and offer suggestions (though they seldom offer proofreading). I can’t speak for all of my colleagues, and I’m no grammar Nazi. If a paper is good overall, I can look the other way for some misused commas or a couple typos. But then again, if your writing has so many errors I can’t figure out what you mean, we have an issue, because I will always assume you mean the dumbest possible option.
  7. Nice presentation throughout. If I want to put on gloves and scrub with Purell before touching your paper, it doesn’t bode well for my general disposition as I read. Clean paper, clean printing, and professional formatting all go a long way.
  8. Stay in contact with your professor. Your professor rarely leaves the house and has no friends, so he or she anxiously awaits your emails. All right, maybe that’s a big of an exaggeration, but run some ideas by him or her. Take note of the comments. Do what he or she or he says, since they’re the one grading you.


Of course, a Benjamin discretely paper-clipped to the last page doesn’t hurt, either, but nobody’s tried that in any of my classes. Yet. And if you’re spending big on bribing the professor, why not hedge your bet and have a pro help you out?